Famousness

A brilliant doctor told my Mom yesterday that her case is so extraordinary that it could be publishable. Of course, she immediately went a few steps further, to consider the screenplay, and who would play her in the movie. The resulting conversation ensued:

Mom: I'm thinking Catherina Zeta-Jones will be playing me in the movie. And maybe Steve Martin could play you.

Dad: If Catherine Zeta-Jones is playing you, I will be playing myself.

What did you say?

Somer: My Nana died last week...

Me: Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!

Somer: It's OK, I just need to recharge it...

(Turns out she said Nano)




Here's another one:

Me (to my Bro); Will you and your big surfer friends be the bodyguards at my wedding?
Bro: Elbow, you'll have dozens of men there that would take a bullet for you.
Me: What about your son? Would he take a bullet? (He's four months old)

Bro: No, but he'd take a spitwad for you...

God

Setting: 21 kindergarten kids on a walk up the street to look at all the snow from a recent snowstorm...

Ricky: Did you know that God makes snow?
Me: No, I didn't.
Ricky: Me neither. My Dad told me. He makes other stuff, too.
Me: Really? Like what?
Ricky: Rain, water, rocks dirt, mud, houses... And he puts the paint on cars, too.
Me: Really? Does he make videogames?
Ricky: Yes. But only the good ones.

I love kindergarten.

Procrastinating

Instead of writing report cards, I am finding out which celebrities look like me...