Boxes

After a challenging teaching year, I took this summer off to fix up my home and pack up lots of belongings in the hopes of beautifying our condo to the point where someone would want to purchase it. I have spent my "vacation" covered in spackle dust, ruining what's left of my fingernails painting and sanding the walls and ceiling of this 100-year-old dwelling that I've called home for the past 10 years. I was describing my endless labor to a friend the other day who shook her head and said, "that must be so hard." I thought about it for a moment...comparing it to the difficult time I had teaching last year. I realized that, when you want to pack a box or fix a crack, you gather the necessary equipment and you get the job done. All you need are the necessary tools and a plan. Unlike teaching, I explained to my friend, the crack does not try to stop being fixed, the box does not unpack itself once you've taped it up. With teaching, you can be totally prepared and have all the drive in the world but the fact is you are working with human beings with their own intentions and plans. One task is physically intense, the other is mentally and emotionally intense. At this point in my life, I'm getting enough emotional intensity from my family life, so there's only room for physical intensity. This summer I have been thoroughly enjoying the satisfaction of packing and repairing... accomplishing exactly what I set out to do. It's all so predictable, neat and tidy-- unlike teaching which is often so messy. I was explaining the packing/teaching analogy to another friend today, when she made a very good point: "Boxes don't call you on your birthday." That was just the kind of reminder I needed before I got back to school in a couple of weeks. At some point soon, I'm going to return to the classroom, embrace the challenges and remind myself of the immense emotional rewards that I can't get from boxes and cracks.