Somer: My Nana died last week...
Me: Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!
Somer: It's OK, I just need to recharge it...
(Turns out she said Nano)
Here's another one:
Me (to my Bro); Will you and your big surfer friends be the bodyguards at my wedding?
Bro: Elbow, you'll have dozens of men there that would take a bullet for you.
Me: What about your son? Would he take a bullet? (He's four months old)
Bro: No, but he'd take a spitwad for you...
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